I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
