He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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