i already hear my dad disowning me
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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