I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
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Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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