he shaved USA in his pubs
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
