He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
