i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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