walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
