My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
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Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
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Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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