Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
