I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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