So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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