Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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