i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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