Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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