Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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