does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
