Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize