I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
