Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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