Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
