5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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