I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
