It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
