I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
