its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
