what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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