): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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