Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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