My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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