you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
it's great music for shaving your balls
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
