doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
