i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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