New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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