I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
