my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
