what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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