Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
