Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
