Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Randomize
