Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
