Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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