aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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