Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
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Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
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I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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