Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
