Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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