In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
