I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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