The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize