I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
