I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
