Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
