I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
