She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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