So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
