I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
