Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
