gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
