i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
be right there i have to get my cape
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
