Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
