When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
And then my night got REAL pukey
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
