He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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