D3 body, D1 cock
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
