Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
