I hate all girls vehemently.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
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I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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