wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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