I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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