MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
