I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
