Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
